Anti-Social Networking
By bwcole on Apr 10, 2009 in Transparence
I’m sure that’s not an original title, I did not even bother to Google it, I’m sure there are a bazillion posts like that out there. Today, I’m just “wondering out loud” along with you, no doubt.
My thoughts were inspired by today’s TED post from Renny Gleeson, Web 2.0 media and marketing guy:
I know you’ve all seen the poses Renny references. You’ve even seen the car traveling down the freeway on autopilot as the driver has head buried in small hand held device (I’m guilty) attempting to type a text message on a numeric keyboard. You’ve even seen the road sign probably in the form of a bumper sticker (it’s OK, I know it had a ‘bad word’ in it – trust me you will be OK.)
I’m actually loving the new networking world, but of course, there’s always good with bad, see my other post on social media. But I’ve really gotta wonder. I’m sort of a marginally-fringe-maybe-somewhat-mainstream user of things like SMS, Facebook, and Twitter, with (maybe) a tweet-a-day and a few minutes each day making funny comments on other people’s Facebook comments. Truth is, I am more up to date and “connected” to my “circle” than ever before. I’m finding that when I get face to face with folks, it’s starting to be where we “continue” conversations that began in the digital realm, instead of starting fresh. This does not bother me at all, as in this role these forms of media are “augmenting” the traditional forms of interaction. It’s actually making communication and connection a little better in our busy, busy world.
Uh oh… but there’s the slippery slope. Those of you old enough to remember life without computers (I was very young {grin}) do you remember what the promise was? More time. Computers would create freedom from all of the mundane in life, adding valuable time back into our day. The unwritten theme underneath the ‘extra time’ piece in the mind of most is really defined as “more time to do the things that have higher value in our lives” and if you go one step further, many
would say things like family, friends, relationship. Have you seen any of the old adds for the Honeywell ‘Kitchen Computer” of 1969? The photo at right is a link, have fun reading about it.
I think you get the idea. Our nature never seems to make more space in life, instead it seems that we always strive (key word) to be more efficient with the time that we have, and the ever-elusive freedom seems to remain just that – we never really create the freedom from the mundane that we desire, we simply replace it with more high-tech mundane.
The add-on problem here (Bryan’s theory) is that if our amount of time equals X, and we use up all of our X implementing efficiency tools to make us as mega efficient as the day is long, we have no margin. Truth is, life (and all of the tech tools that we’ve put into it) has a maintenance component that is always equal to +1, so in order to make life “balance” we always seem to need TIME = X + 1 . The problem is, we’re only ever given X.
Friends, it’s the story of my (past) life. At times, I’ve gone off the deep end with this. Today, it is SO EASY to do. Just ask Kim how much time in past years I’ve spent implementing technology tools that will “help the family” – I don’t think I’ve ever seen an ROI on that time spent. How much time did you spend on Facebook today, deepening relationships? How much MORE TV have you watched this week on TiVO, now that that one hour program is really only 41 minutes? See the trend? We always replace the newfound time with more of the original activity. Trust me, I’ve been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. You can have it…
You see, there’s really no tool that will make space in our lives for the things that really matter in our hearts (you can thank The Fall for that…) I’m still searching for the “SpareTime” app for the iPhone, and it better be a FREE app. And there’s the real secret – true relationship does not come out of “spare time” but instead comes out of “intentional time” that we purposefully carve out for just that purpose – time we place at the “highest level of importance.” If that time were an e-mail, it would have the little red exclamation point right next to it.
So Renny ends the video with a reqest that we “make technologies that make people more human, and not less.”
I’d like to make a slightly different request. Let’s not use technology simply as a way to become efficiently busy. Let’s all carve out intentional time for relationships in our lives. Relationships with our spouse, family, and friends. Yeah, I know, it’s messier and takes time – can’t I just send a tweet out to my friends? Yeah, please do that, but not at the expense of hanging with those friends doing “Verbal” messaging.
Oh, there is one more thing. Don’t forget our Maker. We recognize His Death today (Good Friday), and with His death all of our personal “crap” can die as well – if we Choose Him. And Sunday, we will celebrate the life that He gives us. Think of it as God 2.0 – we now can use some of that intentional time we’re creating to interface directly with Him, first, above all else. But it’s a double choice – first to choose Him, and then to be intentional about carving out the time to be in His relationship. Isn’t it interesting that that’s the same formula that is needed for success in other relationships as well? Almost like that was modeled for us… Hmmnnn..
Have an outstanding Good Friday. It’s a solemn mood, but we still have plenty to celebrate on this day.
Remember X + 1 ? Well, that was not totally correct – it’s really X + One .


